Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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