You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
