so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
