So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
