guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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