Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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