somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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