do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize