why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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