sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
