I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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