Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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