i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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