The maid of honor just puked.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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