hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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