I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
