conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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