i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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