So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
