Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
