Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
