Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
