We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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