that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
