your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
