I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
