How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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