I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
