im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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