i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
