i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
