I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
