I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
