Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
