actually, I'm a sock model
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
