guys are only as good as the porn they watch
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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