So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
