I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
