dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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