First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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