just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
