I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
