jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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