My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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