and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
