Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
how drunk are you?
Several
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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