Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
