The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
