a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
