Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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