I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
