this just has baby written all over it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
