That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
