Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
