im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
