Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
