i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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