how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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