I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
When did angry sex become our thing?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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