If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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