He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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