In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
