it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
