is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He shit in the fireplace
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
