Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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