he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
